My husband and I had been married for nearly three years when we decided it was time to start a family. We both knew we wanted to be parents, but wanted to wait until we were in a house and I was done with school (this was genius on our part for obvious reasons).
So when the time came to start trying we had our struggles, although they were no where near what some people go through to stat a family. On a side note, this breaks my heart. I feel like so many people struggle to get pregnant these days and it is one of the most heart breaking and frustrating situations to be in. I often pray that anyone struggling to get pregnant will soon be blessed with a precious baby.
Once I had a positive pregnancy test, I scheduled an appointment to confirm the pregnancy with my Dr. Typically, a Dr. wont see you until you are 9-12 weeks when there is a heart beat, but since I had had previous issues I was able to go in when I was only 5 weeks along.
I went by myself for this appointment. I told my husband that I was fine to go alone and that I just wanted confirmation and to see it with my own eyes knowing there wouldn't be a heart beat. So there I was alone, excited, nervous, and terrified all at the same time. I was looking at the screen as the tech was doing her thing and I kept seeing her type GS 1 and GS 2. I had the thought that it could be twins, but I was trying to convince myself that it wasn't what I thought it was. The tech didn't say a thing during the procedure until the very end when she said "Did you know you are having twins?" Yes. That is how she told me. I answered "No!" and started nervously laughing and staring at the screen. I probably said "Oh my gosh" 100 times in about 2 minutes.
I went back into an exam room and waited for the Dr. to come in and look at the pictures. He was a little surprised as well and said there was a chance that one could disappear since I wasn't too far along, but that I had a legitimate pregnancy. At this point I was in shock and trying to think about what to say to S when I got home. I was hoping he would be just as shocked as I was, but knowing him, he wouldn't show his fear and act like it was going to be fine.
I drove home in shock and was able to convince S to wait for me to get home before he left for football practice (he coached a pee wee team at the time). I showed him the ultrasound picture and he made a comment about how funny it looked and he handed it back to me. Still being shocked by myself, I told him to look again and tell me what he thought he saw. He kept looking at it and said "I don't know what I'm looking at". I finally said "There's two" while choking back tears and he finally had shock face. Thank you! Finally the shock I was waiting for! I cried while he laughed and starred at the picture. Then he looks up at me and says "We will be fine" and we are. Knowing then that we could end up with only one of them or either of them was scary. Not knowing what would happen was scary. It was our first glimpse into parenthood. We are not in control and that in it of itself is terrifying, but we would do it all over again to have both our babies.
That was a defining day in our lives that we will never forget. And now that we have our babies we know that we were supposed to have them at the same time and that we were meant to be their parents. I often tell people (and will tell the babies when they get older) that they both picked us to be their parents and couldn't decide who should go first, so they both came at the same time. I will never forget the fear I felt that day, but I now know it was the very best thing that could have ever happened to us. We are blessed.
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