The 18 Year Old Me

In the two months since we had our twins, I often stop myself and think "how did we get here?" My husband and I first met when we were 18 years old at Oklahoma State University. I went on to graduate from there, but S left after just one semester. So how on earth did we end up married with twins? The 18 year old me just thought S was cute and fun to be around. The 29 year old me sees him and myself much differently now.

On July 9, 2015 we had our babies, LB and LG. They are fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. When people tell you that a baby changes everything, boy are they right! I thought we were ready to have a baby when we started trying. I even thought "we can do this. We will still do the things we do now, but have a baby with us." I can't begin to tell you how wrong I was. The truth is that there is no way to prepare yourself for the changes that happen when you have your first child. Now, I don't have anything to compare this too, but twins have rocked our world greater than we ever expected. I'm sure having one baby would do a good amount of rocking too. The 18 year old me knew that I wanted to have kids one day, but she never imaged that she would be the mom to twins. The 29 year old me can't imagine my life without them.

Here are a few things I would tell the 18 year old me today:

- Stop and enjoy being a freshman in college
- Most of the friends you made this year will not be around next year
- You will not become an engineer like you planned
- You will date a handful of boys and end marrying someone you have already met 6 years from now
- You will have children someday
- You can handle much more than you every dreamed possible
- Have confidence in who you are

I started this blog to document the changes that are happening in my life as I balance my marriage, work, family and being a new mom to twins. I hope to look back and remember what my life was like because it seems to be changing more rapidly than I ever imagined. If I end up helping someone in a similar situation along the way, that would be amazing. Sometimes it helps to hear what others in similar situations are experiencing and hear how they handle certain things to make you feel better about your own situation or more capable to make it through another day. With that being said there will be some things that I am not going to share on this blog. Out of respect for my family, I wont be sharing their names or faces on this blog. It is my choice to share some aspects of our life and I don't think it would be fair to post pictures of my children or husband in the process. This is also a matter of personal safety. My goal is to create a way for people to peak in our windows and see what life with tins is like without harming my family.